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King Artie in Love transcript
Prologue: Theme Tune Intro The scene opens with another book, but the story sequence is being told by Donkey and Puss. Donkey: (telling the story sequence) Once upon a time, in a beautiful universe not too far away, a nice gentle ogre kissed a beautiful young princess, and she turned back into a nice beautiful ogress, they got married, went on a honeymoon, and later had 3 ogre triplets. Puss: (also telling the story sequence) and they lived cheerfully ever after. DreamWorks Animation presents'' '''Shrek the Series Starring Mike Myers Eddie Murphy Cameron Diaz Antonio Banderas Larry King Regis Philbin Justin Timberlake Jasper Johannes Andrews Miles Christopher Bakshi Nina Zoe Bakshi Julie Andrews Conrad Vernon Cody Cameron Chris Miller Christopher Knights Simon J. Smith Frank Welker Mike Mitchell Ryan Seacrest Aron Warner Jon Hamm Jane Lynch Craig Robinson Erin Matthews Susanne Blakeslee Amanda Troop Tara Charendoff Kath Soucie Nancy Cartwright Bailee Madison Dakota Fanning Connor Corum Lane Styles Meryl Streep Jeff Garlin Max Charles Eric Idle Glenn Close and introducing Miranda Cosgrove as the voice behind Lady Guinevere Scene 1: The ogre family's swamp house Shrek: "Well, Fiona, it sure is good to be back home in our swamp house right after our sons and daughter's birthday party." Fiona: "It sure was a good birthday party, wasn't it, Shrek?" Shrek: "Oh yeah, the sing along songs, the decorations, the birthday cake and goody bags, except for the part when Butterpants kept saying 'Do the roar, do the roar', it was a thrilling party blast." Donkey: (off screen) "Oh, it was a party blast alright." Shrek: "Donkey? Puss? when did you guys arrive here so early?" Puss: "Well, Shrek, my lo mejor para la vida, it's not just me and Donkey, who arrived here early, there's also somebody else waiting outside as well too. Shrek, Fiona, Fergus, Farkle, Felicia, along with Donkey and the Dronkeys, head outside and listen to the Messenger. Messenger: Dearest Shrek and Fiona and of course, little ogre triplets, you're cordially invited to see the engagement of King Artie and his fiancé, Lady Guinevere, respectfully yours, Queen Lilian of Far-Far Away. Shrek: "Now that's something we can attend to." Fiona: "You're absolutely right, Shrek, after all, he's my cousin and also your cousin in law." Later, the ogre triplets are riding on 3 of the Dronkeys, while Shrek and Fiona are riding on Dragon, all the way to Far-Far Away, while the other Dronkeys are following behind. Far-Far Away Shrek: "Well, here we are." Fiona: "This is the place." Donkey: "Wow, this place is super incredible like it was before when we last came here." Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Fiona, along with Fergus, Farkle and Felicia, who are no longer ogre babies, but now 6 year old ogre kids, walk around inside the Castle of Far-Far Away. Inside the Castle of Far-Far Away Queen Lillian: "Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss, it's so wonderful to see all of you again." Fiona: "Well, Mom, it's wonderful to see you again as well too." Queen Lillian: "And I can see my 3 grandkids are growing quite nicely." Puss: "Well, we'd better get to the dining room, we don't wanna miss the big event." Shrek, Donkey, Puss, Fiona, Fergus, Farkle, Felicia and Queen Lillian begin walking around. Fergus: "Oh boy, I can hardly wait to see what types of good food they have there!" Farkle: "Well, you just need to wait and see." Felicia: "I've heard they've got real good seats for all of us here." They all enter the dining room, and they see King Artie and his fiancé, Lady Guinevere there. King Artie: "Shrek, Fiona, Aunt Lillian, guys, you made it just in the nick of time, I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Lady Guinevere." Lady Guinevere: "It's nice to meet all of you guys." Queen Lillian: "Well, let's not waste our time standing here, let's all set the dining table for our dinner meals." Everybody else sets the dining table with plates, bowls, silverware and napkin rings. Shrek: "There, now we've got everything else prepared." Boomer: "Oh boy, it looks lovely." Brad: "It certainly does." Butch: "Ja." Gingy: "It's gonna be the greatest true family reunion ever in Far-Far Away." Pinocchio: "I bet there's gonna be plenty of candle lights here as well." Later that evening....... Everybody else is sitting down, waiting to be served. Queen Lillian: "So, Artie, tell us about your new career as the king of Far-Far Away." King Artie: "Well, there's taste testing, sitting in the throne room, and having a master's bed." Lady Guinevere: "And when he and I get married, I'm gonna become Queen Guinevere." Mouse # 1: "Now that's an exciting event." Mouse # 2: "I agree to that 1." Mouse # 3: "Let's hope there's plenty of cheese slices for the 3 of us to share." Just then, Cedric comes in with a bunch of waiters, serving the dinner foods to everybody else. Cedric: "Deener ees now served, deeg een, everybody." Fiona: "Well, let's not just sit around with our stomachs grumbling, everybody else dig in." Donkey: "Don't mind if we do, Fiona." Shrek: (while digging in his usual weed rat stew) "It's so nice to have everybody else here for dinner this evening." Red Riding Hood: "So, Goldilocks, how has your entire day been, lately?" Goldilocs: "Oh, it's been pretty good, Red, things are going real fine by me." Gepetto: "Well, at least there are no arguments at the dinner table this time." Fergus and Farkle: Lightly Felicia: In Response Shrek: "Better out than in, I always say." Later, right after their dinner meal, they are now served the dessert specials. Queen Lillian: "What a lovely evening this is turning out to be." Later that night, everybody else is now asleep in their beds. The very next morning, Shrek, Fiona, Fergus, Farkle, Felicia and the others are getting everything else prepared for King Artie and Lady Guinevere's fancy romantic dance party. Red Riding Hood: "Alright, we've got just about everything else we need to prepare for King Artie and Lady Guinevere's fancy romantic dance party." Goldilocks: "Well, there's the decorations and the streamers." Red Riding Hood's Grandmother: "Then there's the fancy romantic dance music and the fancy romantic dance party food tables." Everybody else begins putting the fancy romantic dance party decorations where they belong. Fiona: "There, now we've got everything else prepared for tonight." Later that night, at King Artie and Lady Guinevere's fancy romantic dance party........ Magic Mirror: "Welcome, everybody, to the night of the fancy romantic dance party of King Artie and Lady Guinevere, so please welcome, the lovely romantic couple." King Artie: "Are you prepared for this, Guinevere?" Lady Guinevere: "I sure am, Artie." Magic Mirror: "And now, let the fancy romantic dance party music begin!" Romantic Dance Music Playing In Background Captain Hook: I like my town, with a little drop of poison King Artie and Lady Guinevere are dancing romantically with 1 another. King Artie: "You know what? I think this is gonna be the most romantic night of our entire lives." Lady Guinevere: "So do I." King Artie: "Hey, Guinevere, right after this, do you wanna catch a movie on the big screen?" Lady Guinevere: "Why sure, of course, Artie." Meanwhile right after the fancy romantic dance party, King Artie and Lady Guinevere are now at the Far-Far Away Movie Theater, watching some scenes from Shark Tale (2004). Lenny: "Frankie, you know I can't do this." Frankie: "Lenny, if you wanna make Pop happy, you gotta kill something." Lenny: "Or, I could find an old sick fish and just wait." Frankie: "It's gettin' around, your thing at the restaurant, you know how fish talk, this that, the other, boom, forget about it, you're dead." King Artie: "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be the best scene in the movie in our entire lives." Lenny: "Okay, seriously, I can't understand wise guy, so you have to be more specific." Frankie: "Specific? you want specific? be a shark for once in your life." Lenny: "What am I gonna do?" Frankie: "Lenny, forget about it, okay? we do a couple of practice runs, badda-bing, badda-boom, Pop's happy, you're a shark, life goes on, capiche?" Lenny: "Okay, okay, capiche." Frankie: "Bingo, right there, dead ahead, you see it?TV dinner, don't get easier than this." Lenny: "Alright, come on, eye of the tiger." Lenny: "Frankie, l can do this, what if l can't do this?" Frankie: "Then don't bother comin' home." Lenny: "Good point." Bernie: "Alright, hit him in the tail again." Zap Coming From Movie Screen '''''Ernie: "I like the funny face he make." Bernie: "Yeah." Suddenly, Lenny begins getting closer and closer. Bernie: "Ernie!" Ernie: "Blow out!" Oscar: Shouting "Guys? guys? don't leave me alone, come on, there could be sharks out here." Screaming In Fear Lenny: "Oh, no, wait, I'm sorry, no, no, no, I'm not gonna-" Frankie: "Lenny, like this." Lenny: "What? oh, no." Groans In Disgust Oscar: "Just get it over with, wait a minute, do me a favor, don't chew me, I'm not for that." Lenny: "I'm not gonna eat you." Oscar: "Don't do the whole head trip thing with me." Lenny: "Listen to me, don't move until I tell you." Pretends To Growl Ferociously Lenny: "Ahhh! Back up." Lenny begins chomping at the kelp string, which is tied around Oscar's tail fin. Frankie: "That's it, Len, there you go, buddy, that's it, wave those fins, baby, dig in." Lenny: To Snarl "Look, I'm just pretending so you can get away, now when I turn around, you take off." Lenny: "Tastes just like chicken, mmm, mmm." Frankie: "Oh, no, no." Lenny: "What did l tell you?" Oscar: "I'm sorry, I didn't get it, you want me to go now?" Lenny: "What are you doing? just go." Frankie: "That's it, I've had it up to here." Snarls Loudly Oscar: "Oh no!" Lenny: "Hurry, swim, no, Frankie, wait!" Oscar: "No, get your boy, get your boy!" Clang! Thudding! rumbling Lenny: In Shock "Frankie!" Lenny chomps at the anchor line, then removes the fallen anchor off Frankie's dying body. Thud! Frankie: "Lenny? A Bit Lenny, is that you?" Lenny: "I'm here, Frankie." Frankie: "Come closer." Lenny: "Yes, what is it?" Frankie: "I'm so cold." Lenny: "That's just because we're cold blooded." Smack Lenny: "Ow!" Frankie: "Moron." Frankie suddenly passes away. Lenny: Up "Frankie, no...Loudly nooooooooooooo!" Lenny: Up "This is all my fault, (he pats his deceased brother's shark head) I'm so sorry, Frankie, how am I ever going to explain this to Pop? Wildly oh no." Squeaks In Fear Shrieks, Startled Oscar: "Back up, I'm crazy, I be trippin'." 'Making Kung Fu Noises Bernie: "Whoa!" Kick Ernie: "Ow, what the-" Oscar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! '''''Bernie and Ernie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Bernie: "Don't hurt us, we're sorry, it was all Ernie's idea." Oscar comes out from behind Frankie's deceased body. Ernie: "Oscar, did you kill that shark?" Oscar: "Uh, yeah, exactly how it look? that's how it is." Bernie: "What happened?" Oscar: "Oh, you wanna know what happened?" 'Ernie: "Yeah, you're standing on top of a shark."'' Bernie: "Go on, mon." Oscar: "Well, I'll tell you what happened." Oscar is telling everybody else about what happened. Oscar: "Big ol' shark, about 75, 100-feet long, so he's swimmin' at me, right? 'Gasps In Surprise Oscar: with teeth like razors, '''''Angie: "Ooh, razors." Oscar: and l was, like, you're gonna come at me like that? you're gonna come ''at the O like that?" Angie: "Hey, do the muscle thing, the muscle thing." Oscar flexes his right fin muscle. Oscar: "Oh, right, so I told that dude, You see this guy? and I pointed like this, well, he's got a brother', and he lives right over here, and I think it's time for a little-" Oscar and Angie: "Family reunion." Laughing And Cheering Bernie: "You see, mon, I told you, we were right there." Katie Current: "Pardon me, move it!" Ernie: "Oh, sorry." Bernie: "She seems so nice on TV." Katie Current: "Oscar, Katie Current, as the 1st fish in history to ever take on a shark and win, tell me: does this mean you're now protector of the reef? new sheriff in town?" Oscar: "Katie, I'm gonna keep it real, I can call you Katie?" Katie Current: "Of course." Oscar: "Any shark try to mess around in Oscar Town, is goin' down." Roaring Oscar: "Yeah, it's poetic, in the heat I get poetic." Lola: "Oscar, hmm, Oscar." Sykes: "Okay, get outta here." Sykes: "Any further questions will be fielded by me." Katie Current: "And you are?" Sykes: "I'm his manager, Sykes, with a y. Crazy Joe: "And I'm his financial advisor." Brief Pause.... Crazy Joe: "You wanna see my puppets?" Crazy Joe: Voice "Hello." Oscar: "Could you excuse us for a moment, please?" Oscar: "My manager?" Sykes: "Kid, you're a superstar, we're gonna make a fortune." Oscar: "What about the 5 G's?" Sykes: "Forget the 5 G's, from now on, we're partners." Oscar: "So what are we talkin' about?" Sykes: "I'm thinkin' 90-1 0 split?" Oscar: "That's generous." Sykes: "You're the 10, l'm 90." Oscar: "I don't think so." Sykes: "Talk to me." Oscar: "You get 15." Sykes: "70." Oscar: "20." Sykes: "75." Oscar: "Dude, you're goin' the wrong way." Sykes: "You happy?" Oscar: "No, you?" Sykes: "No." Oscar and Sykes: "Deal." Oscar: "My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions." Katie: "Oscar, are you gonna continue working here at the Wash?" Oscar: "Please, I barely work here now." Sykes: "Keep it up, kid, you're slayin' 'em." Katie Current: "No, he's slayin' sharks." Sykes: "Hey, that's good, that's good, l like that, Oscar, the shark slayer." '''''All 3 Shorties: "Whoa, a shark slayer." Katie Current: "You heard it here 1st, from now on, any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral." The entire movie screen fades out to Frankie's funeral ceremony. Don Feinberg: Nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, I could fly higher than an eagle, if you are the wind beneath my wings-'' ''Feinberg Coughs A Bit Don Feinberg: "Frankie, we'll miss you." All Other Sharks: "To Frankie, to Frankie." Giuseppe: "It's a terrible thing, Don Lino, everybody loved Frankie, '''''may whoever did this, die a thousand deaths, may his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the fiery depths of h.......ll." Don Lino: "Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe." Giuseppe: "Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound too, hope he's okay." Don Lino: "Oh, Lenny." Luca: "Don't worry, boss." Don Lino: "I said some things to him, we gotta find him." Luca: "We're searching everywhere, forget about it, he'll turn up." Don Lino: "What's wrong with that kid? why's he gotta be so different? Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect, perfect, Oh, Luca, who could've done this?" Don Feinberg: throat "Don Lino, at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences." Don Lino: "Thank you, Don Feinberg, for honoring my son with your song." Don Feinberg: "I got some news, about the guy who took out Frankie." Feinburg Passes Gas Bubbling! Don Lino: "Let's...yeah, let's talk over here." Don Feinberg: "He come out of nowhere, this guy, calls himself the shark slayer." Don Lino: throat "Ira, over here." Don Feinberg: "Sorry, the shark slayer." Don Lino: "Where do I find him?" Don Feinberg: "He's from the Southside Reef, that's all we could dig up." Don Lino: "Thank you, thank you." Don Feinberg: "Any requests?" Don Lino: "Luca." Don Feinberg: "How 'bout that Titanic song?" All Other Sharks: "Oh, no." Don Lino: "Get Sykes, he knows that reef better than anybody, I wanna find this guy, I wanna know about him, where he lives, where he sleeps, he pops a gill, I wanna know about it, who is this shark slayer?" Meanwhile, back home in the castle of Far-Far Away...... King Artie: "Guinevere?" Lady Guinevere: "Yes, Artie?" King Artie: "Do you think you and I would like to marry 1 another tomorrow afternoon?" Lady Guinevere: "Why of course, Artie, we'd like to marry 1 another tomorrow afternoon, anyway, good night." King Artie: "Goodnight, Guinevere." King Artie falls asleep, while Lady Guinevere goes right into her bedroom. The very next morning....... Shrek, Donkey, Fiona, Puss, Red Riding Hood, the Fairy Tale friends, Fergus, Farkle and Felicia, along with Queen Lillian, are now awake to prepare everything else to bring to King Artie and Lady Guinevere's wedding service party. Queen Lillian: "Well, now that we're all wide awake, let's all prepare everything else we need to bring to my nephew and soon to be niece in law's wedding service party." Shrek and Fiona gather up the Congratulations, Artie and Guinevere banner, while Gingy helps the Muffin Man prepare the wedding cake for the big event. Gingy: "Wow, Muffin Man, that wedding cake's looking real good for the big event." Muffin Man: "Zat ees right, Geengy, eet's gonna be most absolutely perfeect." Boomer: "And we got the wedding flowers." Butch: "Ja." Shrek: "Alright, everybody, let's all head on down to the Far-Far Away Cathedral." Everybody else heads outta the castle to take the wedding service party decorations to the Far-Far Away Cathedral. Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and they hit the ground runnin' didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb so much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreet? you'll never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid and all that glitters is gold only shootin' stars break the mold it's a cool place, and they say it gets colder you're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older but the media men beg to differ judgin' by the hole in the satellite picture the ice we skate, is gettin' pretty thin the water's gettin' warm, so you might as well swim my world's on fire, how 'bout yours? that's the way I like it and I'll never get bored hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid and all that glitters is gold only shootin' stars break the mold Interlude hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid and all that glitters is gold only shootin' stars somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas, I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin', fed to the rules and they hit the ground runnin' didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb so much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with takin' the backstreet? you'll never know if you don't go (go!), you'll never shine if you don't glow hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid and all that glitters is gold only shootin' stars break the mold and all that glitters is gold only shootin' stars break the mold Far-Far Away Cathedral Fiona: "Well, we've got just about everything else prepared, now all we need to do is put the decorations up." Shrek, Donkey and the others help 1 another put the decorations up, and get the entire place prepared. Puss: "There, now we've only got a couple of minutes 'til everybody else shows up." Donkey: "Good, now we can all take our seats." Everybody else takes their seats and wait patiently for everybody else to show up for King Artie and Lady Guinevere's wedding service party. Pinocchio: "Look, you guys, everybody else is coming to take their seats." All of the residents of Far-Far Away come right into the church room to take their seats. Male Resident # 1: "Isn't this exciting?" Male Resident # 2: "I can hardly wait." Female Resident # 1: "It's the wedding of Far-Far Away." Female Resident # 2: "I hope they show up real soon." Male Resident # 3: "In fact, here they come right now." The camera zooms in on King Artie and Lady Guinevere, who are both entering the main church room, and they both go up to the alter. Brogan is the reverend for the wedding service party. Brogan: "Dear good friends and citizens of Far-Far Away, we're all here today for the marriage of Artie and Guinevere." Queen Lillian: "Oh, doesn't that sound lovely?" Brogan: "Do you, Artie, take Guinevere to be your lawful wedded wife?" King Artie: "I do, yes, of course I do." Brogan: "And do you, Guinevere, take Artie to be your lawful wedded husband?" Lady Guinevere: "Yes, I do, of course I do." Brogan: "And from this day forth, I now pronounce you King Artie and Queen Guinevere." King Artie and Lady Guinevere, who is now Queen Guinevere are finally married to 1 another. Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, Puss and others: Wildly Donkey: "Oh boy, they finally married 1 another, they finally married 1 another!" Meanwhile, back in the Castle of Far-Far Away.......... King Artie and Queen Guinevere are now sitting in their thrones. Magic Mirror: "And now, presenting King Artie and Queen Guinevere." King Artie: "Now this is the new king and queen's entire life." Queen Guinevere: "I'm so proud of you, Artie." King Artie: "So am I, Guinevere." Fade to another black screen........ End Production Credits Mike Myers as Shrek (voice) Eddie Murphy as Donkey (voice) Cameron Diaz as Fiona (voice) Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots (voice) Larry King as Doris (voice) Regis Philbin as Mabel (voice) Justin Timberlake as King Artie (voice) Jasper Johannes Andrews as Fergus (voice) Miles Christopher Bakshi as Farkle (voice) Nina Zoe Bakshi as Felicia (voice) Julie Andrews as Queen Lillian (voice) Conrad Vernon Gingy, Cedric, the Announcer and the Muffin Man (voices) Cody Cameron as Pinnochio and the 3 Little Pigs (voices) Chris Miller as Geppetto and the Magic Mirror (voices) Christopher Knights and Simon J. Smith as the 3 Blind Mice (voices) Frank Welker as Dragon (sound effects) Mike Mitchell as Butterpants (voice) Ryan Seacrest as Butterpants' Father (voice) Aron Warner as the Wolf (voice) Jon Hamm as Brogan (voice) Jane Lynch as Gretched (voice) Craig Robinson as Cookie (voice) Erin Matthews as Coco (voice) Susanne Blakeslee as Peanut (voice) Amanda Troop as Debbie (voice) Tara Charendoff as Bananas (voice) Kath Soucie as Parfait (voice) Nancy Cartwright as Éclair (voice) Bailee Madison as Red Riding Hood (voice) Dakota Fanning as Goldilocks (voice) Connor Corum as Jack (voice) Lane Styles as Jill (voice) Meryl Streep as Mama Bear (voice) Jeff Garlin as Papa Bear (voice) Max Charles as Baby Bear (voice) Eric Idle as Merlin (voice) Glenn Close as Red Riding Hood's Grandmother (voice) and Miranda Cosgrove as Lady/Queen Guinevere (voice) Category:Season 1 transcripts